I think it’s fair to say that the year of 2020 has been a pretty challenging year for most, myself included. The past year has most definitely brought about an erroneous amount of loss, grief, anguish, despair, struggles, suffering, overwhelm, and so much more; for many. This year, I lost my Grandmom who was my best friend, my medical issues has significantly increased, etc. However as I reflect on the past year, I realize that there are also many lessons to be learned and perspectives to hold onto; as we close the chapter on this year of struggle and open the door to hope for a better year ahead.
You may have heard that it is through our struggles and most unprecedented and challenging times of suffering, that we learn the most. Chances are you’ve also heard that struggles and suffering makes you stronger, or that many things happen for a reason. I wholeheartedly believe that all of the above is true. We often can’t see this perspective of things until long after it’s over. In fact, it can often feel impossible to believe any of this. We wonder “Why we?” “How can there possibly be a reason for this?” “I’m never going to get out of this”. I think there’s quite a few people out there who have probably caught themselves uttering these questions quite a few times throughout this year especially. I hear you, I’ve been there. It can be so easy and natural to hold onto these questions when we just want and need so badly for our greatest struggles to end; or when we just need an answer, closure… No matter what your unique situation is, I promise you’re not alone. Your frustration, anger, grief, and all of the above that you may have felt this year or are feeling right now is valid.
Times are tough, no doubt. However, through reflection and gratitude; our perspective can change in the blink of an eye. You might be thinking “Seriously, you think gratitude is going to fix all of this?” My answer is no; chances are it won’t fix everything,but it certainly can help us see some of the good beyond the struggles. Think back on this year although I know that might be the last thing you want to do. However, just think about the positive things that happened. What were the good moments to hold onto? What lessons did you learn, even if you might not have wanted to? What opened your eyes? How has your perspective of life changed from the previous year? What is one thing that you gained perspective or insight from that you will take with you in 2021 and future years to come? What are the things, people, opportunities, or events you’re grateful for from 2020? Think about those questions and hold on to your answers. These are the things that we can learn from, to start fresh, and start the new year with a clean slate.
This year has been full of individual and personal impacts as well as societal impacts. We have lived through a historical time period that I’m pretty sure most of us will never forget. As a blog that discusses topics of kindness, mental health, etc.; I also want to bring up the rise of hate, violence, loss, and mental health concerns. You’ve heard me talk about this before, especially in the recent months; but I bring it up again because this year, we’ve seen drastic increases in all of the above. The trauma, anger, stress, etc. have transpired into things such as: violence, hate, relationships destroyed, businesses and communities destroyed due to violence, racism and discrimination, values lost, rising rates of mental illness due to the above, and much more. I wanted to shed light on this topic specifically as we embark on a brand new year for a variety of reasons. Particularly, the biggest message I want to bring home though is: Kindness and compassion are needed now more than ever. Everyone around you grieving or struggling right now. As I always say, everybody has a story and you never know what someone’s story is. You could be standing next to someone who just lost their best friend but is still smiling, someone who just got the news they’ve been fearing, someone who is in extreme pain behind their smile, or is doing everything they can to not fall apart, is a overworked frontline worker, had multiple patients pass away despite their strongest efforts. There will never be enough examples but these should speak for themselves; you just never, ever, know. So, never assume what someone’s situation is, or assume that they “seem fine”. Just be kind. Share a smile, lend a hand, hold the door, and most of all; be patient and have compassion. It can be so easy to feel on edge these days; most of us are. However, in the haste, breathe. Before you get mad, cut someone off in traffic, make an annoyed remark; pause. Take a moment to breathe and just proceed with compassion. You can be annoyed, frustrated, mad, overwhelmed, or all of the above. Don’t hold that in (but again); just be kind. Even when you’re upset or frustrated, proceeding with kindness and compassion will not only bring peace of mind to others or make someone’s day, it will also make you feel better about yourself too. The bottom line is: we’re all human trying to figure out life. Right now, we’re all human trying to figure out life in a pandemic, and extreme uncertainty. We all have feelings and sometimes get caught in the realm of life, we make mistakes, and so forth. So as we go into the new year, let’s slow down, and take time to be mindful of others and ourselves.
Also remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. If you need your own space to grieve, regroup, or just take a break; that’s okay too. Don’t be afraid to let people know that and take care of yourself. Right now more than ever, chances are many will understand. It’s all about open communication, mindful thinking, self-care, and care for others. These four things will help you end 2020 on a positive note, and create room for 2021 to be a better year.
All in all, if you take anything from this blog post, let it be this: Put compassion into action, be kind, and be mindful in 2021 and all of the years to come. Again, if you’re struggling; you are seen and you are heard. If you need someone to talk to and don’t have someone, also know someone is always there. By texting “HOME” to 741741; you can talk to a live, trained Crisis Counselor who is there for you anytime.
If you enjoyed this article, please share it with others to help me get this message out to as many people as possible.
~Compassionately Inspired.
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