The truth is, I’ve felt like this my entire life except for
in my high school where to this day, is the only place I’ve ever truly felt 100%
accepted or that I belonged. I even visited over 16 colleges during my college
search to try and find that place was just like my high school because it’s something
that I strongly desired; to be accepted. Then, the first college I chose ended
up not necessarily being the right choice for me so I transferred after the
first semester. The college I transferred to is a great school and is
definitely a much better fit for me for sure. However, since high school, I’ve
gone back to having that sneaky feeling creeping up on me from time to time
that I’m not like the rest and sometimes that hits me. Sometimes I question why
can’t I fit in? Why does it look so easy for everyone else? Is it me?
I never knew if it was because of my hearing loss or my
anxiety. I always felt like there had to be something wrong with me for me to
feel this way. However, as a psychology major and someone who is the president
and vice president of 2 mental health clubs on campus, I’m starting to learn
that I’m actually not the only one feeling like this. Contrary to what I always
thought, It’s actually not just me and that maybe it’s actually normal in a way
to be feeling like this. I didn’t realize it until recently when I started a
group on campus that serves as a safe place for students to come, connect, and
talk about what they’re going through and even in some of my psychology classes
and getting to know some like-minded people.
The world can feel so big sometimes. It can feel like you’re
just a single person or another number caught up in the midst of life but in
reality, everyone is. If you’ve read some of my other blog posts or heard some
of my speeches, you’ve heard me say “everybody has a story”; that’s my motto and
always has been ever since I went through bullying but it wasn’t until I started
having these meaningful conversations with others and gaining such a
trauma-informed perspective through the trauma training I recently received that
I realized that I really am not alone. It’s not like we go around wearing these
feelings on our sleeves and it’s not necessarily a major point of conversation
so it can appear as though everyone else is totally fine but in reality, there
are so many more people than you know feeling the exact same way.
I know it can be easier said than done to put things into
this perspective and honestly, without going through trauma-training or being a
psychology major, I’m not sure I would have developed such a perspective myself
which is why I’m sharing it with you. If you’re going through something or even
if you’re just having these feelings or feeling alone, I promise you, you aren’t
alone. It can be so easy to feel like that but remember, there are so many others
feeling this way that you would never know. Besides, if you were like the others,
you wouldn’t be you. Embrace your uniqueness and don’t try to be someone you’re
not just to fit in; the world needs your uniqueness.
