We’ve all come in contact with people we don’t necessarily
get along with but when do we draw the line? We all have our own limits, values, and boundaries
and when someone pushes and tests those limits and boundaries, some may think
they just have to accept it, especially when it comes to family. People often
feel as though they’re “selfish” if they speak up or decide to distance
themselves or even terminate these kinds of unhealthy and in some cases, toxic
relationships but I’m here to tell you that’s the farthest thing from the
truth. The truth is that terminating an unhealthy or toxic relationship takes so much strength and courage and having
that strength and courage to know your worth and make that decision shows how
strong you truly are.
So, what do I mean by a “toxic or unhealthy relationship”? Primarily, a relationship can be considered unhealthy
and, in some cases, even considered toxic depending on the context, situation
etc. However, overall, these relationships can be described as a relationship in
which the other person continuously and excessively tries to criticize you,
bring you down, degrade you, use you, disrespect you, attack who you are etc.
the list goes on. Put simply, any
relationship that leaves you feeling attacked or bad about yourself can be
considered an unhealthy relationship. When
we start to see these kinds of patterns is when we should start to question
whether or not that relationship is worth our time or whether it’s time to create
some distance there.
As mentioned earlier, it takes a tremendous amount of
strength and courage to make such a decision. We don’t want to feel guilty or
be “the bad guy”. We worry that it if we
cut off or distance ourselves from a relationship whether it’s unhealthy or
toxic or not, that it’s our fault but again, that’s the farthest thing from the
truth. It is OKAY to walk away from
things that no longer serve you, especially
if they aren’t only no longer serving you, but also hurting you or bringing you
down. Actually, it’s more than okay. In fact, sometimes terminating these kinds of
relationships are a necessity for some people.
Surrounding yourself with someone/people who are
consistently and excessively criticizing you, putting you down, or degrading
you can take an enormous toll on your overall health and wellbeing. You deserve so much more than that; so, don’t
feel bad about terminating a relationship that was/is dragging you down or no
longer serving you. Instead, choose to
surround yourself with people who lift you up and make you happy; those are the
kinds of people who are worth your time.
Also, for those on
the outside looking in, it can be easy to judge or make assumptions when we see
someone terminate a relationship; especially when it comes to family. Some may say “you can’t terminate your family”
etc. but, understand that you most likely do not know the whole story. As I said earlier, sometimes terminating these
kinds of relationships are highly necessary and can be incredibly hard to do so
try not to judge. Instead, try to
understand or support someone if you know they’ve recently had to struggle with
an unhealthy or toxic relationship because chances are, they need that support right
now.
Finally, for those of you in these tough situations,
struggling with what to do or feeling guilty about recently terminating such
relationships, know that sometimes you need to put yourself first and that’s
not selfish, it’s a necessity. If you’re
reading this, chances are you are one of those people who spend a lot of time
looking out for others and putting others needs before your own. Don’t be afraid to do what’s best for you
because you deserve that.
Thanks so much for reading! If you’re interested in seeing future blog
posts and more inspirational content, be sure to subscribe to my blog and like,
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~Compassionately Inspired.
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