The Pandemic May Vanish But the Trauma Will be Longlasting

Trauma.

You’ve heard myself along with many others talk about trauma and perhaps even more so now than ever before; as it’s not only starting to become more widely known in general but something that COVID-19 is beginning to open many of our eyes to. 

What is it?  Where does it come from?  For in-depth answers to these more general questions, see my earlier blog post on "When Past, Uncovered Trauma Comes to the Surface",  here.  However, to summarize, we know the impacts of trauma can be long-lasting. We know it can take a massive toll on both our physical and mental health.  Experts such as pediatrician Nadine Burke Harris, MD and doctor, Bessel van der Kolk, MD have proven this extensively in their research and best-selling novels, The Deepest Well (Burke-Harris, 2018) and The Body Keeps the Score (van der Kolk, 2014). 

To make an incredibly long story short, the impacts of trauma can be deeply significant, life-altering, havoc-wreaking for the mind and body, and most definitely, long-lasting which only summarizes an incredibly small portion of research I've discovered from Burke-Harris, van der Kolk and numerous others.  While everyone should be aware of trauma even without a pandemic going on,  it's more important now than ever before that everyone is aware of this crucial information.  

No one is immune to trauma exposure.  Anyone from any background, demographic category, or stage of life can be exposed to trauma.  However, we’re all different and will react to experience, and process this situation or any situation in life differently.  What may be traumatic to one, may not be to another; even if it’s the same exact situation. 

With the novel Coronavirus pandemic, it’s no surprise that many of us or at least someone we know has been exposed to incredibly devastating, life-changing, and disheartening circumstances to say the very least.  For some, however, the toll is massive and will not simply dissipate when the pandemic is lifted - that’s where the trauma comes in. 

Picture these scenarios:

• Seeing a loved one who is sick and not being able to hold their hand or hug them for support. 
• Seeing someone fight for their life and not being able to help.
• Being in the hospital alone with no friends or family at your side especially in critical times and circumstances.
• Being part of a vulnerable or at-risk area or population fearing that no matter what you do, it won’t protect you from the virus. 
• Being a healthcare worker seeing many lives taken in mass amounts. 
• Being a healthcare or essential worker without sufficient PPE to stay protected. 
• Being an essential worker terrified to bring the virus home to your family. 
• Having your life uprooted out of nowhere. 
• Grieving the loss of the biggest event or moment of your life (weddings, graduations, etc). 
• Not being able to remember and honor loved ones who passed through memorial services or funerals.  

The effects it will have on many ordinary people, people who already had mental health concerns to begin with that have this on top of those pre-existing struggles, people who have never had a history of mental health concerns,  healthcare workers who were kind, caring, and supportive to both patients and families in there final hours and goodbyes; that stepped up and took a loved one's place with kindness, compassion, and love. Many healthcare workers will have life long trauma over the experiences of COVID 19 although again, no one is immune to these devastating, traumatic effects that COVID 19 will leave behind.

However, just as COVID-19 has and will leave these effects on so many, it's also important to recognize that life and experiences do this to so many as well even on days without a pandemic and way before a pandemic. Mental health concerns and this concept of trauma, was just starting to be noticed prior to COVID 19 but was always there. Current research, resources, and support is increasing progressively and has and will come in time to help all the healthcare workers and many others now as COVID-19 can be considered a wake-up call to these concerns that were already present but will most likely be even more so in the coming weeks, months, and years. 

Chances are you or someone you know falls into one of these categories or circumstances I discussed above.  All of these things and even things I didn’t mention, again, CAN have a significant traumatic effect on many as I was talking about earlier. These things will hit people in different ways and not just now; weeks from now, months from now, even years from now for some. 

In the midst of the major struggle life finds a majority of us in right now, we must not forget this and must be mindful that everyone is going through something whether it’s related to COVID or not. Everybody is going through something you know nothing about. 

I’ve been saying it from day 1: Now is NOT the time to socially distance.  Physically distance, YES, but PLEASE do NOT socially disengage.  Text, call, Facebook, email, face-time. Skype, Zoom.  Stay connected with loved ones.  Reach out to that person you may not have talked to all that much.  A simple “Hi, How are you?” can make the biggest difference in the world.  We MUST create a community of social support now than ever because in the midst of the trauma, in the midst of hardship, heartache, devastation, loss and much more, support, compassion, love can save a life. Studies have proven this time and time again: social support can mitigate these negative effects of trauma, negative experiences, adversity.

And if you’re struggling, you are NOT alone!

• Talk to friends/family
• Comment below
• Message me Privately on Facebook or at compassionatelyinspired@gmail.com. I will be a listening ear if available or will contact you as soon as I can. 
• Text home to 741741 to be connected to a live, Certified Crisis Counselor at Crisis Text Line who is there for all needs, not just Crisis needs. 
• Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255
• Take care of yourself- whatever that is for YOU- Journaling, exercising, breathing, watching Netflix, taking hot baths, talking it out, taking time for YOU. 

Thank you SO much for those who have taken the time to read this post to the end!  I know it was a bit lengthy, full of deep but nonetheless important information!  If you can, please share this post or comment on your thoughts to help get this message to as many people as possible! 

As Always, Stay Well, Stay Healthy, Stay Compassionately Inspired! 

~Compassionately Inspired 

Truth Talk About The Novel Coronavirus: Fear, Grief, Mental Health and All of the Above

“Life is hard, frustrating, and sometimes even infuriating but openness, honesty, compassion, and togetherness during this time will take us the farthest of ways ~Danielle Elizabeth, Compassionately Inspired”

Fearful, grieving, anxious/depressed, concerned, worried, paranoid, overwhelmed, angry, burnt-out, freaked-out, exhausted…. Any of these resemble what you’re feeling right now?  Maybe you’re feeling more than one of these or all of the above, or maybe you’re even feeling something I didn’t mention. Regardless, read on.  Even if you’re not feeling any of the above, chances are you know someone who is. Disclaimer: I will note upfront that I know this is an incredibly long article followed by a pretty lengthy video but nonetheless, includes incredibly important information.  Thank you so much in advance to those who do read/watch until the end.  Your support means the world to me.  If you prefer to listen or watch the video, please feel free to scroll to the bottom of this article for the video as it contains much of the same information.  Thank you AGAIN to all of my followers and supporters; you are amazing! Now that I got that out, let’s get to it!

The Coronavirus pandemic has become an immensely life-shifting pandemic for so many people.  While I’ve written an article on this previously; as a psychology major and Crisis Counselor, I’m realizing that there is much, much more that so desperately needs be discussed especially pertaining to mental health and the Coronavirus.

First, just to give you an idea of where I’m about to go with this article, consider the following as you read.  Mental health concerns are a concern for many individuals even without any kind of pandemic or major life-alternating disruption.  So many individuals were and are already struggling with things like anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorders, and other mental health concerns that were most likely already hard enough for them to begin with before any of this occurred.  Add into the mix an event such as a pandemic that comes along and completely changes everything.  Your everyday routines, maybe even your coping mechanisms that you were just finally getting used to, not being able to physically go to counseling sessions, are suddenly all affected.  To go even further, we have the news and media throwing all of these guidelines at us and making us believe that if we don’t follow them to a T that something bad will happen.  Don’t get me wrong, these guidelines are very important and I am an advocate for staying home unless you absolutely can’t especially as someone who is immunocompromised myself.  However, I also recognize the struggles that many are faced with right now.

There are 5 main things that I want to discuss in-depth in this article following the most recent video I posted that you can find below.  These things are fear, grief/loss, trauma, the profound importance of kindness and compassion, and, the idea that social distancing does NOT have to mean social disconnect.

Firstly, FEAR. This is probably the biggest emotion or at least one of the biggest emotions people are feeling right now.  Fear is such a natural emotion and we have fear without a pandemic going on.  We fear the unknown, we fear change, and some people, especially those with pre-existing anxiety or mental health concerns, fear something like this very pandemic happening.  Right now especially, people are fearing so many things; the alarming numbers and statistics being thrown at us, what’s next to come, the uncertainty, catching the virus, loved one’s catching the virus…  There are so many things that people are feeling fearful of right now.  I know I’ve even experienced this myself recently with seeing my mom who has been sick for over 4 weeks now and not being able to get help from her doctor.  She got sick before this virus really hit and kept getting continuously blown off from her own doctor at first saying that she didn’t meet the criteria for COVID-19 testing when she had many symptoms and has tried antibiotics and other things that did not help and was told to wait 72 hours and she’ll order an X-ray if she was not better but, when she didn’t feel better in 72 hours, she told her to go to urgent care at 6:30 at night.  I actually stepped in at this point because I’ve been watching my mom, someone who never gets sick to this extent for this long, someone who I love, who is my rock, my biggest supporter, who I have no idea what I would do without, etc. be so sick and being constantly blown off by her doctor and telemedicine doctors as well, fear truly set in for me personally.  So, I ended up writing her doctor a very nice letter and she called my mom the next morning stating I was disturbing her and to find a new doctor in the next 30 days. I even explained that I completely understand that there’s a major pandemic going on and I know that this a hard time for many, especially those in healthcare but at the same time sick people who don’t have COVID-19 still need care too (and please note: there are so many healthcare workers out there on the frontlines working tirelessly to help those who are sick and infected so THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to all on those front lines; this is absolutely not a message about healthcare workers in general but simply to touch on this idea of fear).  My reason for sharing this part of my experience with you is solely for the purpose of putting context behind what I’m attempting to convey here.  For me, that was my fear; the fear of losing my best friend especially after I just lost my grandmother who I was also very close to and not being able to get my mom care yet alone, not even being able to hug her and offer that emotional comforting support until she got tested weeks later to be safe as I could easily get it if she had it.  So my takeaway here is that everyone has their own fear right now.  This may not be your fear or experience. You could have a completely different fear.  I recently ran a meeting for a mental health group I run where we talked specifically about fear and every single person had a different fear of their own with this pandemic and I see this as a psychology major, and crisis counselor; fear is real. Your fear is real. What you’re feeling is real and completely understandable and valid.

Secondly, GRIEF/LOSS. This is another huge one.   We’re talking about the loss of loved ones, loss of so many individuals, the loss of large celebrations such as graduations, weddings, award ceremonies, baby showers and so many more that so many people were greatly looking forward to or worked so hard to get to that were suddenly taken away; that is also incredibly hard to take in.  Perhaps you’re even experiencing a loss that I didn’t mention.  Grief and loss are also at all-time highs right now so please keep that in mind also.  Be kind, don’t judge.  Reach out, ask people if they’re okay.  Support others. Again, we are all in this together.  For those who have been struggling with major losses, no matter what they are, please know my heart is with you all and I hear you, I know it’s rough right now and you are in the thoughts and prayers of so many.

Third, TRAUMA.  As a psychology major who is heavily studying trauma for my honors thesis, this is yet another huge one that we absolutely cannot overlook especially after all of this is over.  Being in the field, I suspect that the prevalence of trauma, along with many other mental health concerns are going to be even more on the rise than they are without a pandemic given the nature of this situation.  There are so many things right now that can be incredibly traumatic for some people.  Healthcare workers are having no choice but to bury people in bags, risking their lives and even their families lives, being on the frontlines and exposed to this virus, seeing and witnessing someone dying alone, being that person in that hospital bed without any family there to hold your hand during your last breaths, not being able to say goodbye, which would be traumatic for the patient, the family, and healthcare workers alike… There’s trauma even just in being sick if someone has been infected and survived but was severely sick. This is another thing that can, in fact, be considered traumatic because it’s a significantly hard, stressful, overwhelming, overburdening, experience.  Other examples include but are not limited to not being able to get health care if your insurance doesn’t cover telehealth in some instances, having your lives shifted in incredibly significant and extreme ways, being forced to isolate, chronic fear, chronic worry. All of these things CAN be considered traumatic for some people which is the biggest takeaway for this point.  Trauma is something we don’t really talk about too often and it’s something that’s not even necessarily well-known yet even though it’s been around forever.  Something that is completely minor to one person may actually have a significant, lasting, traumatic impact on another and this is especially true given the intense nature of the situation at hand right now.  I know this is a lot to take in and process but something that I truly, truly, felt needed to be discussed also.

Finally, SOCIAL DISTANCING.  We’ve all heard this term “Social Distancing” more times than we can probably count now.  This is a phrase that since the first day I heard it did not sit well with me at all. During this time, especially as someone who is immunocompromised; Yes, we absolutely need to PHYSICAL distance as much as possible to help mitigate this spread; That is crucial more than ever right now. However, please note: PHYSICAL distance, stay home if you can but DO NOT socially disengage.  Right now, it is more critical than ever to stay connected with others.  Even those we have not talked to in a while.  As you can see from everything I’ve mentioned above, there is so much pain, hurting, grief, fear and so many other things out there right now that people are struggling with that we absolutely MUST stay connected and offer that support.  People need support more than ever during this time.  So please, in whichever way you can; reach out to those you know – by phone, text, skype, email, whatever it is that works for you.  Let others know that you are there from them, that you care.  If you’ve seen my blog before, you’ve heard me say it repeatedly; simply asking or saying “how are you?”  “Are you ok?” “I’m here for you” is all it takes to make someone’s day and right now we need that more than ever.

CLOSING REMARKS: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  Even if you are struggling right now and don’t have someone you can talk to, please, please, please know that you are not in any way alone!  There are so many resources out there for you.  If you need support, you can text “Home” to 741741 to be connected to a live, trained, Crisis Counselor at Crisis Text Line who is there to support you 24/7.  Support and resources are out there.  This is not a battle that should be fought alone and luckily you don’t have to fight it alone.  Additionally, I’ve said it already but I will say it again – Please, be kind.  Again, you never know what someone is struggling with or going through especially right now more than ever so please be kind, offer that support if you can.  This is not a time for judgment, discrimination, hate, or criticism.  We all need to be there for each other as we are all in this together.  Finally, practice self-care.  Whatever that is for you whether it’s taking a hot bath, writing it out, watching Netflix, meditating, etc., take at the very, very least 5 minutes a day to do something for yourself.  This is another thing that’s important now more than ever.  I know everyone’s busy and stressed but even just taking those 5 minutes a day if not more, can make a huge difference in overall mental health and wellbeing.

I cannot thank you enough for those who have read to the end of this article.  I know It’s a lengthy one to say the very least but nonetheless important.  Please, if you can share this blog post/check out the video below as you never know who needs to hear these messages.  I’m still on my mission to reach as many people as possible during this rough time to let others know that no one is alone in this journey and that I hear you.  I understand.  I know it’s hard.  I promise we WILL get through this if we stick together.  Thank you SO, SO much again to all of you reading this post and shout out to so many who are either struggling, are on those frontlines to any capacity. You are ALL amazing.

Impacts of The Novel Coronavirus (COVID-19) on Mental Health & Wellbeing

We’re seeing it on the news, in the media, on the streets and for some, even in our very own families. The outbreak of the Coronavirus is affecting our routines, lifestyles, families and relationships, jobs, education, celebrations, and overall, our everyday lives. As the number of cases begins to rise, along with the increasing number of businesses beginning to close; anxiety, fear, and overwhelm begin to strike.

It’s understandable that with the extent to which lives begin to become affected, that mental health and wellbeing would be impacted. There’s a lot going on to process and figure out how to cope with. There are so many factors at play that it’s likely many of us don’t know where to begin. For some, just as they begin to process one piece of information, another piece becomes thrown at them before they can even begin. How do we cope with the fear and anxiety-provoking news and how can we maintain a sense of normalcy in such a time of ab-normalcy? Read on to find out.  

To fully understand the capacity of this enormous pandemic, lets first break it down a little bit.

How does COVID-19 and the pandemic affect mental health?

Virus & Germs: Starting from the very beginning, the very thought of just a virus going around, especially to the capacity that the Coronavirus is, is enough to strike panic in people. Nobody wants to get sick or get other people sick so that alone can put people on edge. This is a particular for challenge who may have a phobia of germs or already have pre-existing anxiety, OCD, depression, or mental health concern to begin with. When you add this to the mix, it’s almost as if the feelings that already come with anxiety, OCD, etc. are being confirmed; telling people who are already fearful; sending a message of “see, I told you this would this happen” or “you should have done more”, “you should have washed your hands more and maybe this wouldn’t have happened”. While none of these are true, these are the kinds of feelings that individuals with pre-existing anxiety disorders or mental health concerns deal with on a daily basis and most likely even more so with this going on. With that being said, that is the first way that COVID-19 is striking such panic.

Routine/Life Affected: In addition to that anxiety and panic that’s already there with the virus alone, we then have this pandemic affecting a wide variety of aspects of our lives; jobs, everyday functions and so on. Almost every day we’re told something different that shifts our lives in some way. When our lives are shifted in some way, or when there is a major change or curveball thrown at us; our radar goes up. We don’t like when our world is changed especially in a negative and life-threatening way. We are accustomed to our routines. So when our routine is changed even a little bit yet alone, to the large scale that it is with this pandemic, anxiety, fear, panic, and confusion strike. An alarm goes off in us saying that this isn’t right, this isn’t how it’s supposed to be and it can throw us into a whirlwind of emotions. Some people are out of jobs, getting ready to graduate, having to figure out how to homeschool their kids or learn/teach in a virtual way, not being able to go to certain places etc. and figuring out how to navigate these things is a great challenge.

Isolation: Just when we think all of the above is enough, add into the mix isolation, quarantine, separation and being closed off of comforting emotional support. In a time where social connection and emotional support is critical, so many are left feeling alone. Many are forced alone in quarantine especially If they themselves are sick or even just been exposed to someone who is. So in addition to these high-strung emotions that are already in full swing, people are told that they can’t offer or receive a level of support that is truly needed to their loved ones during this critical time. Parents are separated from their own kids. This is something even I have dealt with. Seeing my mom who has been sick for over 2 weeks and not being able to hug her and offer that emotional support during this time, has been life-changing. We were forced to stay 6 ft away from each other until we got the results. This is a struggle for many others. Healthcare workers potentially exposed afraid of infecting their own kids and loved ones at home. People are even led to be fearful of just to go outside to get fresh air and exercise just to get a break from the chaos.  

So, how do we hope and what can we do:

Be physically distant, but NOT socially distant! Ever since I’ve heard the term “social distancing”, I felt inclined to preach this. While we may be forced in many cases to physically distance ourselves from others, this does NOT mean we have to socially distance. In fact, as mentioned above, it’s important now more than ever, to stay connected with friends and loved ones. Text, call, video chat, social media; whatever you can do to not become entirely socially isolated because we need that social interaction and communication right now in whatever way we can get it. While a lot of people are concerned about screen time and overuse of technology, it’s OK to put a limit on it but if you can, don’t become fully isolated from it.

Practice Compassion: In a time of such frustration and chaos, many are on edge. Those on the front lines are overworked. It’s understandable this is a time of panic, everyone is trying to stock up on what they need at the food stores etc. it can be easy to feel like we’re going to explode at times but please, please, please, do everything you can to practice compassion. Appreciate those who are on the front lines. If you go to grab the last roll of toilet paper on the shelf and you already have plenty but the elderly person next to you has none, offer it to them. Practice random acts of kindness to any capacity. We know the smallest act can make the biggest difference and that could not be more true during this time. Per the Compassionately Inspired mission, “In times of physical distance, compassion heals ~Compassionately Inspired”.

  

      Stick to as much routine as possible even at home. It may take time to figure out how exactly to do this as we adjust to working or going to school from home or keeping kids occupied who are out of school. However, develop a schedule that works for you. Some things that can help are creating a time table of when to do what etc. Add in work hours, time for fun activities for the kids, etc. Additionally, if you’re working or doing school from home or even schooling your kids from home, create an office space to work free of clutter to minimize distraction. Find what works for you. We’re all different and operate in different ways. However, one of the keys to maintaining a sense of normalcy is trying to stick to a certain schedule or routine as much as possible.

·    Stay Occupied. Do things that can keep you busy to stay distracted from all of the thoughts running through your mind. Cleaning the house, cooking/baking, going through old clothes, playing games with the kids etc. Staying distracted can serve as a way to cope with the cascade of thoughts running through our minds.

·    Practice Self-Care. Self-care is different for every single person. For some people, self-care is washing our hair, taking hot baths, meditating, yoga, exercise, etc. For others, it’s watching Netflix, listening to music, writing, cooking, hobbies, etc. Whatever self-care is for you, add it to your schedule and routine even if it’s just 5 minutes every day. This is also imperative during this rough time for our minds and overall wellbeing.

·     Talk About It. If all of this is just way too much that you don’t even know where to begin and it feels like you’re on the verge of explosion, talk about it. Whether it’s calling, texting, or video chatting to someone about it or just writing about it in a journal for yourself. Bottling up feelings can only lead to more tension and overwhelm. Let it out. If you aren’t sure where to turn or who to talk to, text “SHARE” TO 741741 to be connected to a live Crisis Counselor at Crisis Text Line or if you prefer to talk call, 1-800-273-8255 to be connected to a Crisis Counselor at the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. Apps like BetterHelp, 7Cups, Talkspace are all other great resources if you’re looking for remote therapy. Many therapists, counselors, and counseling centers are also offering Telehealth options as well. You are not alone. Don’t be afraid to utilize resources if you need them!

·     Do what you can, and focus on what you CAN control. There is so much right now that is completely out of our control and as incredibly frustrating as this can be, there are many things you can control. Do what you can in terms of hand-washing and disinfecting and taking the cautions that you personally have control over. That’s all you can personally do.

All in all, thank you so much to the people who have taken the time to read this entire article. If you are on Facebook, please join me in my mission to reach as many people as possible by sharing this blog post and liking my page, Compassionately Inspired at facebook.com/fromcomapssiontoaction/ .  If you have any questions, comments, concerns or just need to chat; don’t hesitate to reach out via messenger, or email at compassionatelyinspired@gmail.com . If you are a school or organization, I’m also happy to speak virtually about the things I’ve mentioned above. Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much. We are all in this together.

~Compassionately Inspired

E: compassionatelyinspired@gmail.com

F: facebook.com/fromcompassiontoaction 

W: https://compassionatelyins.wixsite.com/mysite

#COVID19 #TheNovelCoronavirus #CompassionHealsDistance 

In 2020....

 The start of a new year and a new decade has officially begun.  For some people, this can be an incredibly exciting time.  For others, however, it can bring up a lot of thoughts and emotions or leave one to feel overwhelmed or out of place in the midst of all of the excitement.

It can be easy to get overwhelmed with the idea of starting a new year.  There can be a lot of pressure to make changes or resolutions, plan, set goals, rebuild your life etc. that you may deem just daunting or too much.  Maybe you have a lot going on, just lost someone, aren't feeling it or whatever the case may be; I'm here to tell you that's okay. You don't have to jump into this new year full-force.  You don't have to be ready to make new resolutions.  It's okay if you're not feeling it or overly excited.  It's okay if the thought of a new year seems daunting or overwhelming.  Wherever you are at, it's okay.

You are you and on your own journey that is unique to everyone else's.  Do what feels best and right for you and don't feel guilty about it.  Whether it's a new year or just another day to you, go at your own pace.  Take care of yourself.  There is no rush.

Although this was a relatively short blog post, stay tuned for my next article coming soon!
~Compassionately Inspired

The Importance of Kindness This Holiday Season

The holidays can be a wonderful time of year for many. It can be a time of excitement, joy, laughter, fun, traditions, and all of the above.  While that's amazing, we also need to keep in consideration those whose situation may be just the complete opposite. 

It can be so easy to get caught up in the business of the holidays; the running around, the last-minute errands, rushing to get where you're going, time-frames, etc. because let's face it, we have all probably felt that sense of stress or overwhelm that comes with the holidays to some capacity. However, we can sometimes get too caught up into that stress that we might unintentionally take it out on others whether it be accidentally cutting off someone in traffic, or just in general, not having consideration for those around us.  We don't mean to do it.  We're not doing it intentionally and we probably don't even realize that we do it half of the time but sometimes the stress takes over.  While this may seem minor, it can really be major to some people. 

I say it in all of my blog posts but must repeat for emphasis especially around the holidays: everybody has a story.  We never know what's going on in someone's life.  We never know what kind of battle one may be fighting.  That person who accidentally cut you off in traffic may have just got the news that their parent is dying and is trying to get to the hospital. That person who hasn't returned your text or phone call may be grieving the loss of a loved one and needs some time and space alone.  That person who was supposed to meet you for coffee but didn't show up could have just got some life-changing news.  These are just examples but also very real scenarios to put things into perspective that it can be so easy to assume, judge, and/or maybe even get angry but it's also important to realize we may not know the whole story.  We may not understand why someone is acting a certain way and it can be easy to jump to conclusions and assumptions.  However, chances are, those people are hurting in some way and a phrase as simple as "Are you ok?" "I'm here for you" "Can I do anything?" can all mean the world to that person hurting.  That's why the importance of kindness and compassion every day but especially during the holidays are so important. Often times, especially during the holidays, people won't let you know they are hurting and won't ask for help or for you to listen; they don't want to feel like a burden while you're enjoying your holiday so asking these simple questions can be just what they need. You can be that person to make such a difference even if it's just in one person's life. 

If you're one who is struggling this holiday season, know that you are never alone and it's okay to be feeling what you're feeling.  It's okay if you prefer to be alone.  It's okay if you don't want to talk about it.  It's okay if you need to talk about it.  It's okay to do what you need to do for yourself right now.  I know it's hard right now but you can and will get through this.  If you need support, don't ever hesitate to reach out: text "hello" to 741741 to be connected to a live Crisis Counselor at Crisis Text Line or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. It's OKAY to reach out for help.  It does not make you weak or a burden.  We all need help and someone to listen sometimes. 

Wishing you all a very happy holiday season. 
~Compassionately Inspired

The Power of Being the Real You

You’ve heard it before; “be yourself”, “there’s no one like you”, “be original” etc. but let’s take that on a deeper level for a second. What do these things really mean?  Have we actually stopped to think about it?  Chances are, probably not to the capacity that we should.  I’m a strong believer in the phrases above but I also believe we have to stop for a moment to truly understand what it means to truly be ourselves, our real selves.

The thing is we live in a society where we are so pressured to be perfect. We are so focused on what others’ perceptions of us are and portraying that “perfect image”.  We want others to like us. In addition to that, we also live in a society where technology has taken over our lives leaving many to be anxious about how many likes they get but what if in the midst of all of this we just be who we really are; our true, genuine, real, authentic selves?  We put an enormous amount of energy, often toxic energy, into trying to be “perfect” or “someone we're not”, competing with others even if it’s unintentional and we don’t even realize we’re doing so. However, the fact of the matter is, it takes almost no energy to just be who we really are because well, it’s just naturally who we are.

Not only does that constant pressure of trying to be something or someone were not suck all of the energy out of us, but it also creates a false picture to those around you especially in your relationships (any relationship; friendship, family, professional, romantic, etc.).  It may seem great for a while.  You may feel a high of feeling like you’ve impressed this person or people and that may be an amazing feeling.  However, in the end, true colors always have a way of shining through and more often than not, those same people especially those you’re close with would have accepted you just the way you are if you were your real self and if not, well, that’s their problem, not yours.  Not being your true self can actually harm relationships and other amazing things; jobs, opportunities, etc. due to creating a lack of trust and honesty when those true colors do shine through.  You must first love yourself and the person you are enough and it won’t be long for others to do the same. However, if focus all of your energy in trying to love the person your not, chances are others will have a hard time doing the same because true love and happiness comes from within.

I hear you: “But what if people don’t like the real me?” “What if who I am isn’t good enough?” “What if…” I get it.  However, what I learned a very long time ago is that anyone who doesn’t accept you for your true self, isn’t worth your time and attention anyway. There is and will be people out there who accept you're fully for who you are.  Maybe you haven’t met them yet. Maybe you’re still feeling like that oddball out I mentioned in my last article but I promise you, there are people out there who do and will accept you and yourself is absolutely amazing.  You are worth it.  You are enough and you are loved, just the way you are.

My Experience As a Crisis Counselor

There’s no greater reward than being of service to others.

Knowing that you are making a difference even if it’s the smallest difference for just one person, to me, is one of the greatest rewards in life. That’s why I’m a Volunteer Crisis Counselor for Crisis Text Line.  I’ve always had such an immense passion for helping others because I know how impactful it can be to be heard, to have someone say “I’m here for you” or “you’re not alone”.  With that being said, my experience as a Crisis Counselor with Crisis Text Line has been the most eye-opening and empowering experience of my life in so many ways. One of the biggest ways being you never realize how many people are really out there struggling until you’re on the other end of that line seeing the texters come in.  So often, when we go through struggles in life, we are led to believe that we’re the only ones or that nobody gets it or understands but the truth is, so many people do. There are so many people, while their stories are unique, going through very similar things and to be on that other end and be able to help people going through these things and support them as they go from that “hot moment” and guide them to that “cool calm” is simply one of the most rewarding things to me personally.

Additionally, I’ve learned so many important and valuable things and gained so many new insights and perspectives throughout my experience as a Crisis Counselor.  One of the biggest things is the power in not being so quick to give advice when we’re trying to support someone.  It can be so easy or automatic to want to jump in and give someone struggling advice but what’s even more powerful that we learn through our training and that I’ve seen first-hand when helping people is simply being there and meeting people where they are at.  Especially in a crisis situation, people more often than not, are not looking for advice but rather to be heard. Another major thing I’ve had the opportunity to expand on is the motto I live by everyday that everybody has a story.  We are all different and everybody has different reactions and feelings to certain events, situations, etc. and it’s imperative that we are mindful of that especially when we’re supporting someone so they feel comfortable and safe opening up and not as though we are judging them. Finally, as a Crisis Counselor, I feel like I never stop learning;  With every new conversation in addition to working with other amazing Crisis Counselors, Supervisors, and Coaches all who share a common passion and goal, there’s always something new to be learned.

In summary, as mentioned, my experience volunteering as a Crisis Counselor with Crisis Text Line has been nothing short of an incredibly fulfilling one to say the least.  If you love supporting and being there for others, I highly encourage you to apply to become a Crisis Counselor today.  I never expected this experience to teach me so many new things and provide me with such amazing opportunities.