Impacts of The Novel Coronavirus (COVID-19) on Mental Health & Wellbeing

We’re seeing it on the news, in the media, on the streets and for some, even in our very own families. The outbreak of the Coronavirus is affecting our routines, lifestyles, families and relationships, jobs, education, celebrations, and overall, our everyday lives. As the number of cases begins to rise, along with the increasing number of businesses beginning to close; anxiety, fear, and overwhelm begin to strike.

It’s understandable that with the extent to which lives begin to become affected, that mental health and wellbeing would be impacted. There’s a lot going on to process and figure out how to cope with. There are so many factors at play that it’s likely many of us don’t know where to begin. For some, just as they begin to process one piece of information, another piece becomes thrown at them before they can even begin. How do we cope with the fear and anxiety-provoking news and how can we maintain a sense of normalcy in such a time of ab-normalcy? Read on to find out.  

To fully understand the capacity of this enormous pandemic, lets first break it down a little bit.

How does COVID-19 and the pandemic affect mental health?

Virus & Germs: Starting from the very beginning, the very thought of just a virus going around, especially to the capacity that the Coronavirus is, is enough to strike panic in people. Nobody wants to get sick or get other people sick so that alone can put people on edge. This is a particular for challenge who may have a phobia of germs or already have pre-existing anxiety, OCD, depression, or mental health concern to begin with. When you add this to the mix, it’s almost as if the feelings that already come with anxiety, OCD, etc. are being confirmed; telling people who are already fearful; sending a message of “see, I told you this would this happen” or “you should have done more”, “you should have washed your hands more and maybe this wouldn’t have happened”. While none of these are true, these are the kinds of feelings that individuals with pre-existing anxiety disorders or mental health concerns deal with on a daily basis and most likely even more so with this going on. With that being said, that is the first way that COVID-19 is striking such panic.

Routine/Life Affected: In addition to that anxiety and panic that’s already there with the virus alone, we then have this pandemic affecting a wide variety of aspects of our lives; jobs, everyday functions and so on. Almost every day we’re told something different that shifts our lives in some way. When our lives are shifted in some way, or when there is a major change or curveball thrown at us; our radar goes up. We don’t like when our world is changed especially in a negative and life-threatening way. We are accustomed to our routines. So when our routine is changed even a little bit yet alone, to the large scale that it is with this pandemic, anxiety, fear, panic, and confusion strike. An alarm goes off in us saying that this isn’t right, this isn’t how it’s supposed to be and it can throw us into a whirlwind of emotions. Some people are out of jobs, getting ready to graduate, having to figure out how to homeschool their kids or learn/teach in a virtual way, not being able to go to certain places etc. and figuring out how to navigate these things is a great challenge.

Isolation: Just when we think all of the above is enough, add into the mix isolation, quarantine, separation and being closed off of comforting emotional support. In a time where social connection and emotional support is critical, so many are left feeling alone. Many are forced alone in quarantine especially If they themselves are sick or even just been exposed to someone who is. So in addition to these high-strung emotions that are already in full swing, people are told that they can’t offer or receive a level of support that is truly needed to their loved ones during this critical time. Parents are separated from their own kids. This is something even I have dealt with. Seeing my mom who has been sick for over 2 weeks and not being able to hug her and offer that emotional support during this time, has been life-changing. We were forced to stay 6 ft away from each other until we got the results. This is a struggle for many others. Healthcare workers potentially exposed afraid of infecting their own kids and loved ones at home. People are even led to be fearful of just to go outside to get fresh air and exercise just to get a break from the chaos.  

So, how do we hope and what can we do:

Be physically distant, but NOT socially distant! Ever since I’ve heard the term “social distancing”, I felt inclined to preach this. While we may be forced in many cases to physically distance ourselves from others, this does NOT mean we have to socially distance. In fact, as mentioned above, it’s important now more than ever, to stay connected with friends and loved ones. Text, call, video chat, social media; whatever you can do to not become entirely socially isolated because we need that social interaction and communication right now in whatever way we can get it. While a lot of people are concerned about screen time and overuse of technology, it’s OK to put a limit on it but if you can, don’t become fully isolated from it.

Practice Compassion: In a time of such frustration and chaos, many are on edge. Those on the front lines are overworked. It’s understandable this is a time of panic, everyone is trying to stock up on what they need at the food stores etc. it can be easy to feel like we’re going to explode at times but please, please, please, do everything you can to practice compassion. Appreciate those who are on the front lines. If you go to grab the last roll of toilet paper on the shelf and you already have plenty but the elderly person next to you has none, offer it to them. Practice random acts of kindness to any capacity. We know the smallest act can make the biggest difference and that could not be more true during this time. Per the Compassionately Inspired mission, “In times of physical distance, compassion heals ~Compassionately Inspired”.

  

      Stick to as much routine as possible even at home. It may take time to figure out how exactly to do this as we adjust to working or going to school from home or keeping kids occupied who are out of school. However, develop a schedule that works for you. Some things that can help are creating a time table of when to do what etc. Add in work hours, time for fun activities for the kids, etc. Additionally, if you’re working or doing school from home or even schooling your kids from home, create an office space to work free of clutter to minimize distraction. Find what works for you. We’re all different and operate in different ways. However, one of the keys to maintaining a sense of normalcy is trying to stick to a certain schedule or routine as much as possible.

·    Stay Occupied. Do things that can keep you busy to stay distracted from all of the thoughts running through your mind. Cleaning the house, cooking/baking, going through old clothes, playing games with the kids etc. Staying distracted can serve as a way to cope with the cascade of thoughts running through our minds.

·    Practice Self-Care. Self-care is different for every single person. For some people, self-care is washing our hair, taking hot baths, meditating, yoga, exercise, etc. For others, it’s watching Netflix, listening to music, writing, cooking, hobbies, etc. Whatever self-care is for you, add it to your schedule and routine even if it’s just 5 minutes every day. This is also imperative during this rough time for our minds and overall wellbeing.

·     Talk About It. If all of this is just way too much that you don’t even know where to begin and it feels like you’re on the verge of explosion, talk about it. Whether it’s calling, texting, or video chatting to someone about it or just writing about it in a journal for yourself. Bottling up feelings can only lead to more tension and overwhelm. Let it out. If you aren’t sure where to turn or who to talk to, text “SHARE” TO 741741 to be connected to a live Crisis Counselor at Crisis Text Line or if you prefer to talk call, 1-800-273-8255 to be connected to a Crisis Counselor at the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. Apps like BetterHelp, 7Cups, Talkspace are all other great resources if you’re looking for remote therapy. Many therapists, counselors, and counseling centers are also offering Telehealth options as well. You are not alone. Don’t be afraid to utilize resources if you need them!

·     Do what you can, and focus on what you CAN control. There is so much right now that is completely out of our control and as incredibly frustrating as this can be, there are many things you can control. Do what you can in terms of hand-washing and disinfecting and taking the cautions that you personally have control over. That’s all you can personally do.

All in all, thank you so much to the people who have taken the time to read this entire article. If you are on Facebook, please join me in my mission to reach as many people as possible by sharing this blog post and liking my page, Compassionately Inspired at facebook.com/fromcomapssiontoaction/ .  If you have any questions, comments, concerns or just need to chat; don’t hesitate to reach out via messenger, or email at compassionatelyinspired@gmail.com . If you are a school or organization, I’m also happy to speak virtually about the things I’ve mentioned above. Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much. We are all in this together.

~Compassionately Inspired

E: compassionatelyinspired@gmail.com

F: facebook.com/fromcompassiontoaction 

W: https://compassionatelyins.wixsite.com/mysite

#COVID19 #TheNovelCoronavirus #CompassionHealsDistance 

In 2020....

 The start of a new year and a new decade has officially begun.  For some people, this can be an incredibly exciting time.  For others, however, it can bring up a lot of thoughts and emotions or leave one to feel overwhelmed or out of place in the midst of all of the excitement.

It can be easy to get overwhelmed with the idea of starting a new year.  There can be a lot of pressure to make changes or resolutions, plan, set goals, rebuild your life etc. that you may deem just daunting or too much.  Maybe you have a lot going on, just lost someone, aren't feeling it or whatever the case may be; I'm here to tell you that's okay. You don't have to jump into this new year full-force.  You don't have to be ready to make new resolutions.  It's okay if you're not feeling it or overly excited.  It's okay if the thought of a new year seems daunting or overwhelming.  Wherever you are at, it's okay.

You are you and on your own journey that is unique to everyone else's.  Do what feels best and right for you and don't feel guilty about it.  Whether it's a new year or just another day to you, go at your own pace.  Take care of yourself.  There is no rush.

Although this was a relatively short blog post, stay tuned for my next article coming soon!
~Compassionately Inspired

The Importance of Kindness This Holiday Season

The holidays can be a wonderful time of year for many. It can be a time of excitement, joy, laughter, fun, traditions, and all of the above.  While that's amazing, we also need to keep in consideration those whose situation may be just the complete opposite. 

It can be so easy to get caught up in the business of the holidays; the running around, the last-minute errands, rushing to get where you're going, time-frames, etc. because let's face it, we have all probably felt that sense of stress or overwhelm that comes with the holidays to some capacity. However, we can sometimes get too caught up into that stress that we might unintentionally take it out on others whether it be accidentally cutting off someone in traffic, or just in general, not having consideration for those around us.  We don't mean to do it.  We're not doing it intentionally and we probably don't even realize that we do it half of the time but sometimes the stress takes over.  While this may seem minor, it can really be major to some people. 

I say it in all of my blog posts but must repeat for emphasis especially around the holidays: everybody has a story.  We never know what's going on in someone's life.  We never know what kind of battle one may be fighting.  That person who accidentally cut you off in traffic may have just got the news that their parent is dying and is trying to get to the hospital. That person who hasn't returned your text or phone call may be grieving the loss of a loved one and needs some time and space alone.  That person who was supposed to meet you for coffee but didn't show up could have just got some life-changing news.  These are just examples but also very real scenarios to put things into perspective that it can be so easy to assume, judge, and/or maybe even get angry but it's also important to realize we may not know the whole story.  We may not understand why someone is acting a certain way and it can be easy to jump to conclusions and assumptions.  However, chances are, those people are hurting in some way and a phrase as simple as "Are you ok?" "I'm here for you" "Can I do anything?" can all mean the world to that person hurting.  That's why the importance of kindness and compassion every day but especially during the holidays are so important. Often times, especially during the holidays, people won't let you know they are hurting and won't ask for help or for you to listen; they don't want to feel like a burden while you're enjoying your holiday so asking these simple questions can be just what they need. You can be that person to make such a difference even if it's just in one person's life. 

If you're one who is struggling this holiday season, know that you are never alone and it's okay to be feeling what you're feeling.  It's okay if you prefer to be alone.  It's okay if you don't want to talk about it.  It's okay if you need to talk about it.  It's okay to do what you need to do for yourself right now.  I know it's hard right now but you can and will get through this.  If you need support, don't ever hesitate to reach out: text "hello" to 741741 to be connected to a live Crisis Counselor at Crisis Text Line or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. It's OKAY to reach out for help.  It does not make you weak or a burden.  We all need help and someone to listen sometimes. 

Wishing you all a very happy holiday season. 
~Compassionately Inspired

The Power of Being the Real You

You’ve heard it before; “be yourself”, “there’s no one like you”, “be original” etc. but let’s take that on a deeper level for a second. What do these things really mean?  Have we actually stopped to think about it?  Chances are, probably not to the capacity that we should.  I’m a strong believer in the phrases above but I also believe we have to stop for a moment to truly understand what it means to truly be ourselves, our real selves.

The thing is we live in a society where we are so pressured to be perfect. We are so focused on what others’ perceptions of us are and portraying that “perfect image”.  We want others to like us. In addition to that, we also live in a society where technology has taken over our lives leaving many to be anxious about how many likes they get but what if in the midst of all of this we just be who we really are; our true, genuine, real, authentic selves?  We put an enormous amount of energy, often toxic energy, into trying to be “perfect” or “someone we're not”, competing with others even if it’s unintentional and we don’t even realize we’re doing so. However, the fact of the matter is, it takes almost no energy to just be who we really are because well, it’s just naturally who we are.

Not only does that constant pressure of trying to be something or someone were not suck all of the energy out of us, but it also creates a false picture to those around you especially in your relationships (any relationship; friendship, family, professional, romantic, etc.).  It may seem great for a while.  You may feel a high of feeling like you’ve impressed this person or people and that may be an amazing feeling.  However, in the end, true colors always have a way of shining through and more often than not, those same people especially those you’re close with would have accepted you just the way you are if you were your real self and if not, well, that’s their problem, not yours.  Not being your true self can actually harm relationships and other amazing things; jobs, opportunities, etc. due to creating a lack of trust and honesty when those true colors do shine through.  You must first love yourself and the person you are enough and it won’t be long for others to do the same. However, if focus all of your energy in trying to love the person your not, chances are others will have a hard time doing the same because true love and happiness comes from within.

I hear you: “But what if people don’t like the real me?” “What if who I am isn’t good enough?” “What if…” I get it.  However, what I learned a very long time ago is that anyone who doesn’t accept you for your true self, isn’t worth your time and attention anyway. There is and will be people out there who accept you're fully for who you are.  Maybe you haven’t met them yet. Maybe you’re still feeling like that oddball out I mentioned in my last article but I promise you, there are people out there who do and will accept you and yourself is absolutely amazing.  You are worth it.  You are enough and you are loved, just the way you are.

My Experience As a Crisis Counselor

There’s no greater reward than being of service to others.

Knowing that you are making a difference even if it’s the smallest difference for just one person, to me, is one of the greatest rewards in life. That’s why I’m a Volunteer Crisis Counselor for Crisis Text Line.  I’ve always had such an immense passion for helping others because I know how impactful it can be to be heard, to have someone say “I’m here for you” or “you’re not alone”.  With that being said, my experience as a Crisis Counselor with Crisis Text Line has been the most eye-opening and empowering experience of my life in so many ways. One of the biggest ways being you never realize how many people are really out there struggling until you’re on the other end of that line seeing the texters come in.  So often, when we go through struggles in life, we are led to believe that we’re the only ones or that nobody gets it or understands but the truth is, so many people do. There are so many people, while their stories are unique, going through very similar things and to be on that other end and be able to help people going through these things and support them as they go from that “hot moment” and guide them to that “cool calm” is simply one of the most rewarding things to me personally.

Additionally, I’ve learned so many important and valuable things and gained so many new insights and perspectives throughout my experience as a Crisis Counselor.  One of the biggest things is the power in not being so quick to give advice when we’re trying to support someone.  It can be so easy or automatic to want to jump in and give someone struggling advice but what’s even more powerful that we learn through our training and that I’ve seen first-hand when helping people is simply being there and meeting people where they are at.  Especially in a crisis situation, people more often than not, are not looking for advice but rather to be heard. Another major thing I’ve had the opportunity to expand on is the motto I live by everyday that everybody has a story.  We are all different and everybody has different reactions and feelings to certain events, situations, etc. and it’s imperative that we are mindful of that especially when we’re supporting someone so they feel comfortable and safe opening up and not as though we are judging them. Finally, as a Crisis Counselor, I feel like I never stop learning;  With every new conversation in addition to working with other amazing Crisis Counselors, Supervisors, and Coaches all who share a common passion and goal, there’s always something new to be learned.

In summary, as mentioned, my experience volunteering as a Crisis Counselor with Crisis Text Line has been nothing short of an incredibly fulfilling one to say the least.  If you love supporting and being there for others, I highly encourage you to apply to become a Crisis Counselor today.  I never expected this experience to teach me so many new things and provide me with such amazing opportunities.

If You’re Always Feeling Like The “Odd One Out”: You’re Not Alone.

Do you ever feel like no matter where you are or what you do, there’s just always that sneaky feeling of you’re not like the rest, or like you just don’t fit in, like you’re the “odd one out”?  I hear you and you’re not alone.  However, I’m also here to tell you, if you are feeling like this; it’s okay.  There’s nothing wrong with you and you’re not the only one despite the fact that you probably feel like you are.

The truth is, I’ve felt like this my entire life except for in my high school where to this day, is the only place I’ve ever truly felt 100% accepted or that I belonged.  I even visited over 16 colleges during my college search to try and find that place was just like my high school because it’s something that I strongly desired; to be accepted.  Then, the first college I chose ended up not necessarily being the right choice for me so I transferred after the first semester.  The college I transferred to is a great school and is definitely a much better fit for me for sure.  However, since high school, I’ve gone back to having that sneaky feeling creeping up on me from time to time that I’m not like the rest and sometimes that hits me.  Sometimes I question why can’t I fit in?  Why does it look so easy for everyone else?  Is it me?

I never knew if it was because of my hearing loss or my anxiety.  I always felt like there had to be something wrong with me for me to feel this way.  However, as a psychology major and someone who is the president and vice president of 2 mental health clubs on campus, I’m starting to learn that I’m actually not the only one feeling like this.  Contrary to what I always thought, It’s actually not just me and that maybe it’s actually normal in a way to be feeling like this. I didn’t realize it until recently when I started a group on campus that serves as a safe place for students to come, connect, and talk about what they’re going through and even in some of my psychology classes and getting to know some like-minded people.

The world can feel so big sometimes.  It can feel like you’re just a single person or another number caught up in the midst of life but in reality, everyone is.  If you’ve read some of my other blog posts or heard some of my speeches, you’ve heard me say “everybody has a story”;  that’s my motto and always has been ever since I went through bullying but it wasn’t until I started having these meaningful conversations with others and gaining such a trauma-informed perspective through the trauma training I recently received that I realized that I really am not alone.  It’s not like we go around wearing these feelings on our sleeves and it’s not necessarily a major point of conversation so it can appear as though everyone else is totally fine but in reality, there are so many more people than you know feeling the exact same way.

I know it can be easier said than done to put things into this perspective and honestly, without going through trauma-training or being a psychology major, I’m not sure I would have developed such a perspective myself which is why I’m sharing it with you.  If you’re going through something or even if you’re just having these feelings or feeling alone, I promise you, you aren’t alone.  It can be so easy to feel like that but remember, there are so many others feeling this way that you would never know. Besides, if you were like the others, you wouldn’t be you.  Embrace your uniqueness and don’t try to be someone you’re not just to fit in; the world needs your uniqueness.

Don't Judge One's Decisions When You Don't Know One's Story or Reasons

Don’t judge one's decisions when you don’t know one's reasons...  This is a pretty vague statement but if you’ve ever been in a position where you’ve had to make a really rough decision(s), I’m sure you can relate and know that it can actually hold a lot of meaning.  However, for those who haven’t been in this situation or aren’t exactly sure what I mean by this, read on because chances are you know someone in this situation and this applies to you too.

All too often, when people confide in others for support or advice or even just tell others about a situation they're in or a problem they have, people often respond with phrases like “you should” “you shouldn’t” “you’ll regret it” “that’s a mistake” “you’ll change your mind”…  And while we may think that this is the kind of advice people are looking for and may have the right intentions when giving this kind of advice (and maybe sometimes it is in certain cases); often when people are expressing their feelings about something to you, they’re often not looking for advice or for you to tell them what they should or shouldn’t do; they’re telling you a side of a story, their side, their feelings and while you think you may be helping, these phrases can actually come across as judgmental leading the person confiding in you to feel insecure among other things.  Chances are they came to you for a reason, they shared this information with you for a reason, most likely because they trusted you; not because they were looking for advice but because they were looking for support; there’s a difference.  I say it in every single speech I give and almost every single blog post and I will always say it: Everybody Has a Story.  Everybody has a story you most likely know nothing about.  Everyone is battling something you know nothing about and feeling judged can add even more salt to the wound on top of whatever they are already dealing with.

To shed some light on what I’m talking about, let me provide a few examples.  I first encountered this when I transferred from public school to cyber school after being severely bullied on a daily basis.  I can’t tell you how many times I heard “that’s the wrong decision”, “you shouldn’t do that” “you’ll never thrive”, “you’ll never go to college”, “you won’t be successful” etc. etc. because they did not know the nature and severity of the situation. They didn’t know what I or my mother, who was going through it with me were dealing with on a daily basis.  They didn’t know that if I were to stay in that situation, the toll it would have taken on my mental health in addition to the toll it had already taken at that time.  Most importantly though, they didn’t know me. They didn’t know my ambition, my drive, my determination.  They didn’t know what I was capable of but what they didn’t know the most was my story and my reasons.  But, let me tell you; there was/is no greater feeling than walking down that asile of my high school graduation knowing that my hard work, ambition, and most of all, my resilience proved all of them wrong.

Another example that is all too real is my decision to cut ties with my toxic, and narcissistic abusive father and my family.  If you’ve read my previous blog posts, you know just a bit of this story but it goes far beyond what any blog post or even conversation can shed light on thus, my point of everybody has a story you know nothing about and there are two sides to every story.  I bring this up as my mom and I have been in the process of cleaning out our house and are currently going through old pictures. I made the decision to not keep pictures of my father or family with the exception of one or two because as I said it stems from a toxic relationship situation and this decision supports my process of healing the trauma that my father and other members of my family have caused.  Don’t get me wrong, I have overcome and healed from this trauma a long time ago but as someone with strong autonomy who knows myself well and what I need to maintain my mental health and keep moving forward from my past, I know that keeping those pictures is not only not in my best interest but also, that getting rid of the pictures is my personal coping mechanism and something that is healing to me because it is part of my way of removing toxicity from my life.  I’m not going to get into specific details for the sake of the length of this post but what I will say is that even people who know snippets of this story, even the smallest parts, don’t even know even close to half of the story; some, not even my side of the story, my feelings, or what I have personally been through and how much I put into the decision, how much it took to cut those ties but choose to tell me that I “shouldn’t do that” that I’ll “regret it”, “it’s wrong”, “people change” and while some of them may have good intentions, I’m sorry; but you are wrong.  Again, you don’t know half of it and you can’t possibly know the half of it.  I realize some of these people may have “similar” experiences but they are not my experiences, they are not my story, they are not my feelings. Just because this wouldn’t be your decision or because you have had a different experience, doesn’t mean it’s the same for me or for others.

Every single story is different.  Every single person is different.  What is considered healing to one may be considered selfish to others but it is not your place to make that determination.  The only thing that you can determine is how you feel and what is right for you personally.  It can be easy to judge based on our own experiences and our natural instinct to think that because we experience it this way, that is the way but that’s the farthest thing from the truth.  You can place two identical people in the same exact situation and they could have completely, drastically different feelings, experiences, decisions, and outcomes.  That does not mean one person is right and one person is wrong; that means everyone is different and we need to respect that and strive to offer more support than advice that we “think” is right.