The Pandemic May Vanish But the Trauma Will be Longlasting

Trauma.

You’ve heard myself along with many others talk about trauma and perhaps even more so now than ever before; as it’s not only starting to become more widely known in general but something that COVID-19 is beginning to open many of our eyes to. 

What is it?  Where does it come from?  For in-depth answers to these more general questions, see my earlier blog post on "When Past, Uncovered Trauma Comes to the Surface",  here.  However, to summarize, we know the impacts of trauma can be long-lasting. We know it can take a massive toll on both our physical and mental health.  Experts such as pediatrician Nadine Burke Harris, MD and doctor, Bessel van der Kolk, MD have proven this extensively in their research and best-selling novels, The Deepest Well (Burke-Harris, 2018) and The Body Keeps the Score (van der Kolk, 2014). 

To make an incredibly long story short, the impacts of trauma can be deeply significant, life-altering, havoc-wreaking for the mind and body, and most definitely, long-lasting which only summarizes an incredibly small portion of research I've discovered from Burke-Harris, van der Kolk and numerous others.  While everyone should be aware of trauma even without a pandemic going on,  it's more important now than ever before that everyone is aware of this crucial information.  

No one is immune to trauma exposure.  Anyone from any background, demographic category, or stage of life can be exposed to trauma.  However, we’re all different and will react to experience, and process this situation or any situation in life differently.  What may be traumatic to one, may not be to another; even if it’s the same exact situation. 

With the novel Coronavirus pandemic, it’s no surprise that many of us or at least someone we know has been exposed to incredibly devastating, life-changing, and disheartening circumstances to say the very least.  For some, however, the toll is massive and will not simply dissipate when the pandemic is lifted - that’s where the trauma comes in. 

Picture these scenarios:

• Seeing a loved one who is sick and not being able to hold their hand or hug them for support. 
• Seeing someone fight for their life and not being able to help.
• Being in the hospital alone with no friends or family at your side especially in critical times and circumstances.
• Being part of a vulnerable or at-risk area or population fearing that no matter what you do, it won’t protect you from the virus. 
• Being a healthcare worker seeing many lives taken in mass amounts. 
• Being a healthcare or essential worker without sufficient PPE to stay protected. 
• Being an essential worker terrified to bring the virus home to your family. 
• Having your life uprooted out of nowhere. 
• Grieving the loss of the biggest event or moment of your life (weddings, graduations, etc). 
• Not being able to remember and honor loved ones who passed through memorial services or funerals.  

The effects it will have on many ordinary people, people who already had mental health concerns to begin with that have this on top of those pre-existing struggles, people who have never had a history of mental health concerns,  healthcare workers who were kind, caring, and supportive to both patients and families in there final hours and goodbyes; that stepped up and took a loved one's place with kindness, compassion, and love. Many healthcare workers will have life long trauma over the experiences of COVID 19 although again, no one is immune to these devastating, traumatic effects that COVID 19 will leave behind.

However, just as COVID-19 has and will leave these effects on so many, it's also important to recognize that life and experiences do this to so many as well even on days without a pandemic and way before a pandemic. Mental health concerns and this concept of trauma, was just starting to be noticed prior to COVID 19 but was always there. Current research, resources, and support is increasing progressively and has and will come in time to help all the healthcare workers and many others now as COVID-19 can be considered a wake-up call to these concerns that were already present but will most likely be even more so in the coming weeks, months, and years. 

Chances are you or someone you know falls into one of these categories or circumstances I discussed above.  All of these things and even things I didn’t mention, again, CAN have a significant traumatic effect on many as I was talking about earlier. These things will hit people in different ways and not just now; weeks from now, months from now, even years from now for some. 

In the midst of the major struggle life finds a majority of us in right now, we must not forget this and must be mindful that everyone is going through something whether it’s related to COVID or not. Everybody is going through something you know nothing about. 

I’ve been saying it from day 1: Now is NOT the time to socially distance.  Physically distance, YES, but PLEASE do NOT socially disengage.  Text, call, Facebook, email, face-time. Skype, Zoom.  Stay connected with loved ones.  Reach out to that person you may not have talked to all that much.  A simple “Hi, How are you?” can make the biggest difference in the world.  We MUST create a community of social support now than ever because in the midst of the trauma, in the midst of hardship, heartache, devastation, loss and much more, support, compassion, love can save a life. Studies have proven this time and time again: social support can mitigate these negative effects of trauma, negative experiences, adversity.

And if you’re struggling, you are NOT alone!

• Talk to friends/family
• Comment below
• Message me Privately on Facebook or at compassionatelyinspired@gmail.com. I will be a listening ear if available or will contact you as soon as I can. 
• Text home to 741741 to be connected to a live, Certified Crisis Counselor at Crisis Text Line who is there for all needs, not just Crisis needs. 
• Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255
• Take care of yourself- whatever that is for YOU- Journaling, exercising, breathing, watching Netflix, taking hot baths, talking it out, taking time for YOU. 

Thank you SO much for those who have taken the time to read this post to the end!  I know it was a bit lengthy, full of deep but nonetheless important information!  If you can, please share this post or comment on your thoughts to help get this message to as many people as possible! 

As Always, Stay Well, Stay Healthy, Stay Compassionately Inspired! 

~Compassionately Inspired 

Truth Talk About The Novel Coronavirus: Fear, Grief, Mental Health and All of the Above

“Life is hard, frustrating, and sometimes even infuriating but openness, honesty, compassion, and togetherness during this time will take us the farthest of ways ~Danielle Elizabeth, Compassionately Inspired”

Fearful, grieving, anxious/depressed, concerned, worried, paranoid, overwhelmed, angry, burnt-out, freaked-out, exhausted…. Any of these resemble what you’re feeling right now?  Maybe you’re feeling more than one of these or all of the above, or maybe you’re even feeling something I didn’t mention. Regardless, read on.  Even if you’re not feeling any of the above, chances are you know someone who is. Disclaimer: I will note upfront that I know this is an incredibly long article followed by a pretty lengthy video but nonetheless, includes incredibly important information.  Thank you so much in advance to those who do read/watch until the end.  Your support means the world to me.  If you prefer to listen or watch the video, please feel free to scroll to the bottom of this article for the video as it contains much of the same information.  Thank you AGAIN to all of my followers and supporters; you are amazing! Now that I got that out, let’s get to it!

The Coronavirus pandemic has become an immensely life-shifting pandemic for so many people.  While I’ve written an article on this previously; as a psychology major and Crisis Counselor, I’m realizing that there is much, much more that so desperately needs be discussed especially pertaining to mental health and the Coronavirus.

First, just to give you an idea of where I’m about to go with this article, consider the following as you read.  Mental health concerns are a concern for many individuals even without any kind of pandemic or major life-alternating disruption.  So many individuals were and are already struggling with things like anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorders, and other mental health concerns that were most likely already hard enough for them to begin with before any of this occurred.  Add into the mix an event such as a pandemic that comes along and completely changes everything.  Your everyday routines, maybe even your coping mechanisms that you were just finally getting used to, not being able to physically go to counseling sessions, are suddenly all affected.  To go even further, we have the news and media throwing all of these guidelines at us and making us believe that if we don’t follow them to a T that something bad will happen.  Don’t get me wrong, these guidelines are very important and I am an advocate for staying home unless you absolutely can’t especially as someone who is immunocompromised myself.  However, I also recognize the struggles that many are faced with right now.

There are 5 main things that I want to discuss in-depth in this article following the most recent video I posted that you can find below.  These things are fear, grief/loss, trauma, the profound importance of kindness and compassion, and, the idea that social distancing does NOT have to mean social disconnect.

Firstly, FEAR. This is probably the biggest emotion or at least one of the biggest emotions people are feeling right now.  Fear is such a natural emotion and we have fear without a pandemic going on.  We fear the unknown, we fear change, and some people, especially those with pre-existing anxiety or mental health concerns, fear something like this very pandemic happening.  Right now especially, people are fearing so many things; the alarming numbers and statistics being thrown at us, what’s next to come, the uncertainty, catching the virus, loved one’s catching the virus…  There are so many things that people are feeling fearful of right now.  I know I’ve even experienced this myself recently with seeing my mom who has been sick for over 4 weeks now and not being able to get help from her doctor.  She got sick before this virus really hit and kept getting continuously blown off from her own doctor at first saying that she didn’t meet the criteria for COVID-19 testing when she had many symptoms and has tried antibiotics and other things that did not help and was told to wait 72 hours and she’ll order an X-ray if she was not better but, when she didn’t feel better in 72 hours, she told her to go to urgent care at 6:30 at night.  I actually stepped in at this point because I’ve been watching my mom, someone who never gets sick to this extent for this long, someone who I love, who is my rock, my biggest supporter, who I have no idea what I would do without, etc. be so sick and being constantly blown off by her doctor and telemedicine doctors as well, fear truly set in for me personally.  So, I ended up writing her doctor a very nice letter and she called my mom the next morning stating I was disturbing her and to find a new doctor in the next 30 days. I even explained that I completely understand that there’s a major pandemic going on and I know that this a hard time for many, especially those in healthcare but at the same time sick people who don’t have COVID-19 still need care too (and please note: there are so many healthcare workers out there on the frontlines working tirelessly to help those who are sick and infected so THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to all on those front lines; this is absolutely not a message about healthcare workers in general but simply to touch on this idea of fear).  My reason for sharing this part of my experience with you is solely for the purpose of putting context behind what I’m attempting to convey here.  For me, that was my fear; the fear of losing my best friend especially after I just lost my grandmother who I was also very close to and not being able to get my mom care yet alone, not even being able to hug her and offer that emotional comforting support until she got tested weeks later to be safe as I could easily get it if she had it.  So my takeaway here is that everyone has their own fear right now.  This may not be your fear or experience. You could have a completely different fear.  I recently ran a meeting for a mental health group I run where we talked specifically about fear and every single person had a different fear of their own with this pandemic and I see this as a psychology major, and crisis counselor; fear is real. Your fear is real. What you’re feeling is real and completely understandable and valid.

Secondly, GRIEF/LOSS. This is another huge one.   We’re talking about the loss of loved ones, loss of so many individuals, the loss of large celebrations such as graduations, weddings, award ceremonies, baby showers and so many more that so many people were greatly looking forward to or worked so hard to get to that were suddenly taken away; that is also incredibly hard to take in.  Perhaps you’re even experiencing a loss that I didn’t mention.  Grief and loss are also at all-time highs right now so please keep that in mind also.  Be kind, don’t judge.  Reach out, ask people if they’re okay.  Support others. Again, we are all in this together.  For those who have been struggling with major losses, no matter what they are, please know my heart is with you all and I hear you, I know it’s rough right now and you are in the thoughts and prayers of so many.

Third, TRAUMA.  As a psychology major who is heavily studying trauma for my honors thesis, this is yet another huge one that we absolutely cannot overlook especially after all of this is over.  Being in the field, I suspect that the prevalence of trauma, along with many other mental health concerns are going to be even more on the rise than they are without a pandemic given the nature of this situation.  There are so many things right now that can be incredibly traumatic for some people.  Healthcare workers are having no choice but to bury people in bags, risking their lives and even their families lives, being on the frontlines and exposed to this virus, seeing and witnessing someone dying alone, being that person in that hospital bed without any family there to hold your hand during your last breaths, not being able to say goodbye, which would be traumatic for the patient, the family, and healthcare workers alike… There’s trauma even just in being sick if someone has been infected and survived but was severely sick. This is another thing that can, in fact, be considered traumatic because it’s a significantly hard, stressful, overwhelming, overburdening, experience.  Other examples include but are not limited to not being able to get health care if your insurance doesn’t cover telehealth in some instances, having your lives shifted in incredibly significant and extreme ways, being forced to isolate, chronic fear, chronic worry. All of these things CAN be considered traumatic for some people which is the biggest takeaway for this point.  Trauma is something we don’t really talk about too often and it’s something that’s not even necessarily well-known yet even though it’s been around forever.  Something that is completely minor to one person may actually have a significant, lasting, traumatic impact on another and this is especially true given the intense nature of the situation at hand right now.  I know this is a lot to take in and process but something that I truly, truly, felt needed to be discussed also.

Finally, SOCIAL DISTANCING.  We’ve all heard this term “Social Distancing” more times than we can probably count now.  This is a phrase that since the first day I heard it did not sit well with me at all. During this time, especially as someone who is immunocompromised; Yes, we absolutely need to PHYSICAL distance as much as possible to help mitigate this spread; That is crucial more than ever right now. However, please note: PHYSICAL distance, stay home if you can but DO NOT socially disengage.  Right now, it is more critical than ever to stay connected with others.  Even those we have not talked to in a while.  As you can see from everything I’ve mentioned above, there is so much pain, hurting, grief, fear and so many other things out there right now that people are struggling with that we absolutely MUST stay connected and offer that support.  People need support more than ever during this time.  So please, in whichever way you can; reach out to those you know – by phone, text, skype, email, whatever it is that works for you.  Let others know that you are there from them, that you care.  If you’ve seen my blog before, you’ve heard me say it repeatedly; simply asking or saying “how are you?”  “Are you ok?” “I’m here for you” is all it takes to make someone’s day and right now we need that more than ever.

CLOSING REMARKS: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  Even if you are struggling right now and don’t have someone you can talk to, please, please, please know that you are not in any way alone!  There are so many resources out there for you.  If you need support, you can text “Home” to 741741 to be connected to a live, trained, Crisis Counselor at Crisis Text Line who is there to support you 24/7.  Support and resources are out there.  This is not a battle that should be fought alone and luckily you don’t have to fight it alone.  Additionally, I’ve said it already but I will say it again – Please, be kind.  Again, you never know what someone is struggling with or going through especially right now more than ever so please be kind, offer that support if you can.  This is not a time for judgment, discrimination, hate, or criticism.  We all need to be there for each other as we are all in this together.  Finally, practice self-care.  Whatever that is for you whether it’s taking a hot bath, writing it out, watching Netflix, meditating, etc., take at the very, very least 5 minutes a day to do something for yourself.  This is another thing that’s important now more than ever.  I know everyone’s busy and stressed but even just taking those 5 minutes a day if not more, can make a huge difference in overall mental health and wellbeing.

I cannot thank you enough for those who have read to the end of this article.  I know It’s a lengthy one to say the very least but nonetheless important.  Please, if you can share this blog post/check out the video below as you never know who needs to hear these messages.  I’m still on my mission to reach as many people as possible during this rough time to let others know that no one is alone in this journey and that I hear you.  I understand.  I know it’s hard.  I promise we WILL get through this if we stick together.  Thank you SO, SO much again to all of you reading this post and shout out to so many who are either struggling, are on those frontlines to any capacity. You are ALL amazing.