The Importance of Kindness This Holiday Season

The holidays can be a wonderful time of year for many. It can be a time of excitement, joy, laughter, fun, traditions, and all of the above.  While that's amazing, we also need to keep in consideration those whose situation may be just the complete opposite. 

It can be so easy to get caught up in the business of the holidays; the running around, the last-minute errands, rushing to get where you're going, time-frames, etc. because let's face it, we have all probably felt that sense of stress or overwhelm that comes with the holidays to some capacity. However, we can sometimes get too caught up into that stress that we might unintentionally take it out on others whether it be accidentally cutting off someone in traffic, or just in general, not having consideration for those around us.  We don't mean to do it.  We're not doing it intentionally and we probably don't even realize that we do it half of the time but sometimes the stress takes over.  While this may seem minor, it can really be major to some people. 

I say it in all of my blog posts but must repeat for emphasis especially around the holidays: everybody has a story.  We never know what's going on in someone's life.  We never know what kind of battle one may be fighting.  That person who accidentally cut you off in traffic may have just got the news that their parent is dying and is trying to get to the hospital. That person who hasn't returned your text or phone call may be grieving the loss of a loved one and needs some time and space alone.  That person who was supposed to meet you for coffee but didn't show up could have just got some life-changing news.  These are just examples but also very real scenarios to put things into perspective that it can be so easy to assume, judge, and/or maybe even get angry but it's also important to realize we may not know the whole story.  We may not understand why someone is acting a certain way and it can be easy to jump to conclusions and assumptions.  However, chances are, those people are hurting in some way and a phrase as simple as "Are you ok?" "I'm here for you" "Can I do anything?" can all mean the world to that person hurting.  That's why the importance of kindness and compassion every day but especially during the holidays are so important. Often times, especially during the holidays, people won't let you know they are hurting and won't ask for help or for you to listen; they don't want to feel like a burden while you're enjoying your holiday so asking these simple questions can be just what they need. You can be that person to make such a difference even if it's just in one person's life. 

If you're one who is struggling this holiday season, know that you are never alone and it's okay to be feeling what you're feeling.  It's okay if you prefer to be alone.  It's okay if you don't want to talk about it.  It's okay if you need to talk about it.  It's okay to do what you need to do for yourself right now.  I know it's hard right now but you can and will get through this.  If you need support, don't ever hesitate to reach out: text "hello" to 741741 to be connected to a live Crisis Counselor at Crisis Text Line or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. It's OKAY to reach out for help.  It does not make you weak or a burden.  We all need help and someone to listen sometimes. 

Wishing you all a very happy holiday season. 
~Compassionately Inspired

The Power of Being the Real You

You’ve heard it before; “be yourself”, “there’s no one like you”, “be original” etc. but let’s take that on a deeper level for a second. What do these things really mean?  Have we actually stopped to think about it?  Chances are, probably not to the capacity that we should.  I’m a strong believer in the phrases above but I also believe we have to stop for a moment to truly understand what it means to truly be ourselves, our real selves.

The thing is we live in a society where we are so pressured to be perfect. We are so focused on what others’ perceptions of us are and portraying that “perfect image”.  We want others to like us. In addition to that, we also live in a society where technology has taken over our lives leaving many to be anxious about how many likes they get but what if in the midst of all of this we just be who we really are; our true, genuine, real, authentic selves?  We put an enormous amount of energy, often toxic energy, into trying to be “perfect” or “someone we're not”, competing with others even if it’s unintentional and we don’t even realize we’re doing so. However, the fact of the matter is, it takes almost no energy to just be who we really are because well, it’s just naturally who we are.

Not only does that constant pressure of trying to be something or someone were not suck all of the energy out of us, but it also creates a false picture to those around you especially in your relationships (any relationship; friendship, family, professional, romantic, etc.).  It may seem great for a while.  You may feel a high of feeling like you’ve impressed this person or people and that may be an amazing feeling.  However, in the end, true colors always have a way of shining through and more often than not, those same people especially those you’re close with would have accepted you just the way you are if you were your real self and if not, well, that’s their problem, not yours.  Not being your true self can actually harm relationships and other amazing things; jobs, opportunities, etc. due to creating a lack of trust and honesty when those true colors do shine through.  You must first love yourself and the person you are enough and it won’t be long for others to do the same. However, if focus all of your energy in trying to love the person your not, chances are others will have a hard time doing the same because true love and happiness comes from within.

I hear you: “But what if people don’t like the real me?” “What if who I am isn’t good enough?” “What if…” I get it.  However, what I learned a very long time ago is that anyone who doesn’t accept you for your true self, isn’t worth your time and attention anyway. There is and will be people out there who accept you're fully for who you are.  Maybe you haven’t met them yet. Maybe you’re still feeling like that oddball out I mentioned in my last article but I promise you, there are people out there who do and will accept you and yourself is absolutely amazing.  You are worth it.  You are enough and you are loved, just the way you are.

My Experience As a Crisis Counselor

There’s no greater reward than being of service to others.

Knowing that you are making a difference even if it’s the smallest difference for just one person, to me, is one of the greatest rewards in life. That’s why I’m a Volunteer Crisis Counselor for Crisis Text Line.  I’ve always had such an immense passion for helping others because I know how impactful it can be to be heard, to have someone say “I’m here for you” or “you’re not alone”.  With that being said, my experience as a Crisis Counselor with Crisis Text Line has been the most eye-opening and empowering experience of my life in so many ways. One of the biggest ways being you never realize how many people are really out there struggling until you’re on the other end of that line seeing the texters come in.  So often, when we go through struggles in life, we are led to believe that we’re the only ones or that nobody gets it or understands but the truth is, so many people do. There are so many people, while their stories are unique, going through very similar things and to be on that other end and be able to help people going through these things and support them as they go from that “hot moment” and guide them to that “cool calm” is simply one of the most rewarding things to me personally.

Additionally, I’ve learned so many important and valuable things and gained so many new insights and perspectives throughout my experience as a Crisis Counselor.  One of the biggest things is the power in not being so quick to give advice when we’re trying to support someone.  It can be so easy or automatic to want to jump in and give someone struggling advice but what’s even more powerful that we learn through our training and that I’ve seen first-hand when helping people is simply being there and meeting people where they are at.  Especially in a crisis situation, people more often than not, are not looking for advice but rather to be heard. Another major thing I’ve had the opportunity to expand on is the motto I live by everyday that everybody has a story.  We are all different and everybody has different reactions and feelings to certain events, situations, etc. and it’s imperative that we are mindful of that especially when we’re supporting someone so they feel comfortable and safe opening up and not as though we are judging them. Finally, as a Crisis Counselor, I feel like I never stop learning;  With every new conversation in addition to working with other amazing Crisis Counselors, Supervisors, and Coaches all who share a common passion and goal, there’s always something new to be learned.

In summary, as mentioned, my experience volunteering as a Crisis Counselor with Crisis Text Line has been nothing short of an incredibly fulfilling one to say the least.  If you love supporting and being there for others, I highly encourage you to apply to become a Crisis Counselor today.  I never expected this experience to teach me so many new things and provide me with such amazing opportunities.